How to break-up with somebody in a mature way

Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do but here's how you can break-up maturely and if not walk away with a partner, at least walk away with a friend.

A break up can be awful especially if you're on the receiving end. It can leave you feeling confused, insecure and depressed. However, being the 'breaker upper' can be just as hard. Your mind is all over the place, wondering if you're doing the right thing or not.

A certified relationship coach, shares his five best tips for breaking up with someone properly and as maturely as possible. That's without being unnecessarily nasty, while also getting to the point and ensuring that you can walk away feeling like you've not only done the right thing but might be able to salvage a friendship from it all.

1. Be clear

People only wish to break up with someone if the person is no longer a match to their outlook, values, passions, needs and desires. So before the break up, write a list of what it is that you no longer want to be, feel or experience in a relationship so that you can be clear when you break up.

Then write down what you now want, and visualise it.

2. Fall out of love in your mind first

It’s harder to break up if you keep focusing on the one moment you were happy. If you're trying to build the strength to break up with a partner, banish that thought.

Focus on the top five negative moments of your relationship. Remember what you saw, heard and felt during those times. Keep repeating the process.

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Breaking up is hard to do

 (LiveAbout)

 

3. Be kind, but strict

Breaking up can be extremely painful, not just for the person being left behind but for the person doing the leaving. Be kind and respectful as you begin to distance yourself, however be strict with your boundaries because if you're not totally clear, your partner may get mixed signals and end up staying around much longer.

4. Figure out how valuable they are

Only you can decide what your partner is worth to you. Are they worth a sit down dinner or a five-minute coffee break up? Are they worth a four-word text or one last night of passion? Sorry but only you can decide that one.

5. Look forward

Think about all of the things you are now free to be, do after breaking up. Go on a rampage of thoughts that activate happy vibes. Tomorrow’s experiences are always created from the thoughts you are thinking today.

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5 ways to get over your ex in a mature way

Breakups happen every time, and they are undeniably nerve-wrecking affairs. But you can get over that relationship and your ex in a mature way.

Not only can you move on in a mature way, you can also cut short the time needed for the average person to do so. Here's how:

1. Don't over-push for closure

Closure is overrated as this opinion piece explains - and it's true.

To move on quickly, if your partner does not agree to meet up or converse about what went wrong in the relationship, or explain why it's breaking up, don't push for too long.

No need to delay your healing period because of a closure that's never coming. Forget about closure and move on.

2. Cry if you feel like it

Forget what Fergie says: big girls do cry when they're hurt. If it hurts and it's unbearable and you need an avenue to let out those unpleasant emotions, just cry it out if the tears come. The tears are significant of an emotional purge and that's infinitely better than bottling in emotions.

3. Get yourself back

Instead of trying to get her back when he or she has obviously closed the possibility of that happening in this lifetime, strive instead to get yourself back.

Join a bookclub, a sports team, your work force in church, your community cleaning team, a young outreach team... anything. Just get back to doing stuff you enjoy.

4. That block button

Do not forget to use it on all social media platforms.

5. Take a look in the mirror

Yeah, the breakup hurts and you think he or she is an asshole for dumping you, and you're probably right. But also, it is important to do some introspection. What could you have done better? Is there a chance that you goaded them into doing the things they did? What lessons can be taken into subsequent relationships, never forget to consider these things, too.

It is important that after a while, you will need to get into a relationship, and you have to make that better than the previous one.

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understanding singleness

Contentment with being alone involves learning how to be fulfilled in your singleness.
A truly single person is one who is complete physically,emotionally,spiritually and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else.

Successful singles find their personal identity and sense of wholeness within themselves and in relationship with God. They can strive and prosper whether or not in a relationship.
Singleness gives you the opportunity to give undivided attention to the pursuit of spiritual growth and a deep relationship with the Lord.
Unfettered with the ties of marriage and other serious relationships,single people are free to concern themselves wholly with the things of God. Make the most of this time in your life. Learn to grow deep with God and love him by yourself first.
Work to develop yourself fully as a single person. Learn to be like Adam;get completely lost in God today. Become so consumed in God that He will have to interrupt you to bring to bring another person in your life.
Think of singleness as a blessing and a perfect opportunity on character development. You will have fewer distractions,a single-minded commitment and a more open attitude because you will not be pressured by the need to please anyone except God.
Learn to be an asset first. You should be preoccupied with preparing yourself for whomever God is preparing for you. Use this time in life to prepare yourself.
True singleness is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. When you can be alone and enjoy it,you are a self confident and self_aware person. You are well adjusted and not needing other people's approval to feel okay about yourself. It means you have your act together are ready for a deeper relationship. You have discovered and accepted who you are and can now truly give and share yourself with others. You are ready to relate(effectively).

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A tonic for husband and wife

According to Collins advanced learners English dictionary, tonic is defined as a medicine that makes one feel stronger, healthier, and less tired. It is anything that makes one feel stronger, more cheerful or more enthusiastic. 

Anything that brings peace and harmony between husband and wife is indeed a tonic for them. When I say peace, I don’t really mean that the two persons will never have one problem or the other that will make them feel uncomfortable. The two persons have different characters and different understanding. What the father sees as an offense may not be an offense to his wife.

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