How to break-up with somebody in a mature way

Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do but here's how you can break-up maturely and if not walk away with a partner, at least walk away with a friend.

A break up can be awful especially if you're on the receiving end. It can leave you feeling confused, insecure and depressed. However, being the 'breaker upper' can be just as hard. Your mind is all over the place, wondering if you're doing the right thing or not.

A certified relationship coach, shares his five best tips for breaking up with someone properly and as maturely as possible. That's without being unnecessarily nasty, while also getting to the point and ensuring that you can walk away feeling like you've not only done the right thing but might be able to salvage a friendship from it all.

1. Be clear

People only wish to break up with someone if the person is no longer a match to their outlook, values, passions, needs and desires. So before the break up, write a list of what it is that you no longer want to be, feel or experience in a relationship so that you can be clear when you break up.

Then write down what you now want, and visualise it.

2. Fall out of love in your mind first

It’s harder to break up if you keep focusing on the one moment you were happy. If you're trying to build the strength to break up with a partner, banish that thought.

Focus on the top five negative moments of your relationship. Remember what you saw, heard and felt during those times. Keep repeating the process.

play

Breaking up is hard to do

 (LiveAbout)

 

3. Be kind, but strict

Breaking up can be extremely painful, not just for the person being left behind but for the person doing the leaving. Be kind and respectful as you begin to distance yourself, however be strict with your boundaries because if you're not totally clear, your partner may get mixed signals and end up staying around much longer.

4. Figure out how valuable they are

Only you can decide what your partner is worth to you. Are they worth a sit down dinner or a five-minute coffee break up? Are they worth a four-word text or one last night of passion? Sorry but only you can decide that one.

5. Look forward

Think about all of the things you are now free to be, do after breaking up. Go on a rampage of thoughts that activate happy vibes. Tomorrow’s experiences are always created from the thoughts you are thinking today.

Read More »

5 ways to get over your ex in a mature way

Breakups happen every time, and they are undeniably nerve-wrecking affairs. But you can get over that relationship and your ex in a mature way.

Not only can you move on in a mature way, you can also cut short the time needed for the average person to do so. Here's how:

1. Don't over-push for closure

Closure is overrated as this opinion piece explains - and it's true.

To move on quickly, if your partner does not agree to meet up or converse about what went wrong in the relationship, or explain why it's breaking up, don't push for too long.

No need to delay your healing period because of a closure that's never coming. Forget about closure and move on.

2. Cry if you feel like it

Forget what Fergie says: big girls do cry when they're hurt. If it hurts and it's unbearable and you need an avenue to let out those unpleasant emotions, just cry it out if the tears come. The tears are significant of an emotional purge and that's infinitely better than bottling in emotions.

3. Get yourself back

Instead of trying to get her back when he or she has obviously closed the possibility of that happening in this lifetime, strive instead to get yourself back.

Join a bookclub, a sports team, your work force in church, your community cleaning team, a young outreach team... anything. Just get back to doing stuff you enjoy.

4. That block button

Do not forget to use it on all social media platforms.

5. Take a look in the mirror

Yeah, the breakup hurts and you think he or she is an asshole for dumping you, and you're probably right. But also, it is important to do some introspection. What could you have done better? Is there a chance that you goaded them into doing the things they did? What lessons can be taken into subsequent relationships, never forget to consider these things, too.

It is important that after a while, you will need to get into a relationship, and you have to make that better than the previous one.

Read More »

understanding singleness

Contentment with being alone involves learning how to be fulfilled in your singleness.
A truly single person is one who is complete physically,emotionally,spiritually and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else.

Successful singles find their personal identity and sense of wholeness within themselves and in relationship with God. They can strive and prosper whether or not in a relationship.
Singleness gives you the opportunity to give undivided attention to the pursuit of spiritual growth and a deep relationship with the Lord.
Unfettered with the ties of marriage and other serious relationships,single people are free to concern themselves wholly with the things of God. Make the most of this time in your life. Learn to grow deep with God and love him by yourself first.
Work to develop yourself fully as a single person. Learn to be like Adam;get completely lost in God today. Become so consumed in God that He will have to interrupt you to bring to bring another person in your life.
Think of singleness as a blessing and a perfect opportunity on character development. You will have fewer distractions,a single-minded commitment and a more open attitude because you will not be pressured by the need to please anyone except God.
Learn to be an asset first. You should be preoccupied with preparing yourself for whomever God is preparing for you. Use this time in life to prepare yourself.
True singleness is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. When you can be alone and enjoy it,you are a self confident and self_aware person. You are well adjusted and not needing other people's approval to feel okay about yourself. It means you have your act together are ready for a deeper relationship. You have discovered and accepted who you are and can now truly give and share yourself with others. You are ready to relate(effectively).

Read More »

Dealing with an angry customer

My name is Emmanuel prince, I work in a cooperate environment where I serve the public so I meet different kinds of characters every day, people say a lot of things, some will criticize while some will praise your efforts, some will complain and some will shout angrily at you, yes angry customers, and that’s what we will be talking about.

Read More »

Key Differences Between Guidance and Counseling

Counseling is a more inward analysis, whereas guidance is much more external
· Counseling is in-depth, narrowing down the problem until the client understands his/her own problem, but guidance is broader and comprehensive.

Read More »

Natural inclination

Natural inclination comprises of two words “natural” and “inclination”.

Natural according to the oxford dictionary is defined as “existing in or derived from nature” while Macmillan dictionary defines it as “existing in nature and not produced or caused by people”.

Read More »

WHAT WILL HELP THE PARENTS LIVE LONGER

The desire of every man is to live long; no man will like to die early. Even the great educated elites that were past leaders of the world wished to finish their work before dying. Some of the leaders of the church that encountered God in the field of their work wished to finish their work before going to heaven. Example is st. Paul the great preacher of his time. But if I may ask, is there any time that is too early or short for a man to die? The answer is yes.

Read More »

Making wrong decision

When we were little we were asked questions like what we want to be when we grow up and our answers were like doctor, pilot, president, lawyer, and when we got a bit older we were asked again and our answers were a little more different from our previous answer, now again, what do u want to be when you grow up?.

Read More »

How to know the most intelligent one among your children

There are various classes in this life. A president of a country is from a family and a poor laborer is also from a family, but the two are not in the same level. How old one is does not determine how rich in knowledge one is going to be. The first son/daughter in your family may depend on your last son/daughter financially in the future.

Read More »

ABILITY- see how it makes one excel in life via career success

Having seen the Natural inclination and its power to make one excel in life via career success when recognized and embraced by an individual concerned, ABILITY is also an essential factor that needs to work in harmony with natural inclination to successfully bring an individual into his natural environment for excellence.

Read More »

A tonic for husband and wife

According to Collins advanced learners English dictionary, tonic is defined as a medicine that makes one feel stronger, healthier, and less tired. It is anything that makes one feel stronger, more cheerful or more enthusiastic. 

Anything that brings peace and harmony between husband and wife is indeed a tonic for them. When I say peace, I don’t really mean that the two persons will never have one problem or the other that will make them feel uncomfortable. The two persons have different characters and different understanding. What the father sees as an offense may not be an offense to his wife.

Read More »

Diligence- combination of carefulness and long term effort

While focusing on ones goal in life of turning ones natural inclination into a career; one also needs to be diligence. According to the universal life church “the diligence carries a zealous yet careful nature in their actions. They have a decisive work ethics, are steadfast in their beliefs, uphold their convictions at all times (especially when no one is looking) and do not easily give up.

Diligence is a virtue of hard work, and is indicative of a belief that work in itself is good”. Menander equally says “he who labors diligently needs never despair, for all things are accomplished by diligence and labors”.

Diligence therefore is defined by Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, International Students Edition, as “careful and through work or effort”.

Read More »

must read- Focus

Having known your natural inclination and ability, one also needs to be focused.

Focus according to the Collins Dictionary is defined as a point upon which attention, activity, etc is directed or concentrated.

Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary defines it as the center of interest or activity, an act of concentrating interest or activity on something.

Cambridge Dictionaries on the other hand defines it as the main or central point of something, especially of attraction or interest.

Read More »

Keep praying; dont give up

This year calls for much prayer. There has to be an increase in your prayer life as compared to the previous year, you should keep praying about your desires and not give up until the answer comes. Don’t forget the fact that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much (James 5: 16). Be diligent in your prayer life this year and be determined to keep times of prayer with the lord. If the unrighteous judge could hearken to the persistent cry of the woman, God will certainly hearken to your prayer. When the answer does not come immediately do not be discouraged for the delay to your prayer being answered does not mean denial. Keep knocking at the door and it shall be opened.

Read More »

Read now- Power In Giving

Luke 3: 3- 5, 2 kings 4: 9- 16

Determine that you are going to be a very generous and hospitable person giving to God and man.

Giving attracts divine blessings; it attracts God’s attention to your problems. Solomon gave wonderfully to the lord and God in response asked him what he wanted. Indeed giving brings a release from God. Hospitality opens the door for reward as we can see in the case of the shunammite woman.

Read More »

understanding behavior modification

Before we talk about behavior modification, lets first of all understand what behavior really is, am going to give you different definitions of behavior.

What is behavior?

Behavior is actions, reactions and activity of man towards the environment.

Behavior is also referred to as anything involving movement in response to stimuli.

Behavior can be said to be any action of an organism that changes its relationship and provide output from the individual to the environment

Behavior can also be seen as action of a system or organism in relation to its environment, or response of the system or organism to various stimuli or input, whether internal or external, conscious or subconscious, covert or overt, voluntary or involuntary.

Read More »

Young men with wrong choices

After graduating from the university and I was serving my nation as a Nigerian youth service corps member, I had a friend h came to the orientation camp as a Christian. He was even our “Christian corpers’ fellowship” zonal representative.

When we got to our place of primary assignment, there was a choice we had to make. We met some people who said they were welcoming the new corps members with a party. I declared to them that I am a Christian; I took my stand and told them that I have nothing to do in partnership with unbelievers; of course, they mocked me and laughed me to scorn.

Read More »

What determines what a child will be in future

Surely, the future of every nation strongly depends on the character of her present generation. If the people are the type that inherited ugly character from their parents, it means that the nation is going to suffer.

 The same problem they encountered will continue to grow at a higher level. The only thing that will make that nation have a better generation in the future is to find a very good way to stop that corruption. What about a father/mother that has a child that inherited one/two ugly character from him/her? Is it not surprising to see a child that behaves like his/her parents? The truth is always clear, any parent that understands his/her poor character will regret about it.

Read More »

Must read- What will make your children marry late

Pexels photos

One of the happiness of every parent is to be alive to see their children marry in time. Once parents celebrate their children’s marriage at the right time, they will be alive to see their grand children. Do you know that children are a blessing from the God|? The bible says that children are blessings from the God (psalm 127-3). 

If you happen to see your grand children or great grand children, it’s like entering from to joy (Nehemiah 8 vs. 10).  There are many things that will deny you the privilege of seeing your grand children. Any child that does not attend secondary school especially the higher institution in this present generation will suffer the problem of late marriage. Some people use the time their children are supposed to be educated to use them in making money.  Engaging them in one little business at their tender   age will not help them in future.

Read More »

What can make you have an unwanted baby

Pexels photos.

Can there be a baby that is not wanted? The answer is no. Every child that comes into this world has something special in him or her. It might be for good or bad, but what is important is for you to understand that no child is unwanted.

Every reasonable man plans very well before doing anything important.

Parents that want to enjoy their peace of mind in this life should think of the number of children they are going to have.

The number of children Mr. A has may not be the number of children Mr. B will have, this is because Mr. A may have money to train up to j children, while Mr. B has money to train 5 children.

Read More »